Kasblah

I dunno what they put in that string but I know I want some!

Ikea ads can be quite smart and playful. Last time we went there the store was full of posters saying Kom deg hjem (loosely translated Go Home; are we supposed to turn around and go home once we get to Ikea?)

The newest campaign for beds encourages Norwegians to proliferate with a variety of cheeky slogans, including

Never more a small country in the world - poignantly expressing the Norwegian desire to be an “important” country in the world

Take responsibility for your pension, create more taxpayers - tapping into the real problem of a bloated welfare state unsupportable by the next generation

Tired of never getting a plumber when you need one? - jokingly noting the serious labor shortage in the hyper-expanding Norwegian economy.

and finally the catch-all

Population growth starts in the bedroom! - Yes, but despite the generous leaves and child benefits offered to parents the native growth rate in Norway like most of western Europe is stagnant if not negative. Just like the beds Ikea sells, population growth is more likely to come from low-cost countries abroad.

I stayed here last week and give the hotel a rating of 2 scythes (of 5 possible), mainly because of the hellish racket from the bar that lasted way past midnight on a regular Tuesday. They only charged us half price the next day so you know it was real bad!!

First in an occasional series of unfortunate named businesses

I am kind of amused by the many “carbon footprint” equations we keep hearing these days. The concept being the measurement of CO2 released during the lifecycle of a product or process. Manufacturers will soon start labeling products with this information, and consumers will be able to choose products with smaller footprints. Fair enough, but there seems to be some seriously whacked logic coming out of this:

A British environmentalist claims that walking pollutes more than driving. Huh?! His argument was that walking burns more calories, which in the case of 95% of us are replenished by eating meat. And the production of meat, especially cattle has a carbon footprint the size of Texas (imagine really big). The math went like this:

Driving a typical UK car for 3 miles [4.8km] adds about 0.9 kg [2lb] of CO2 to the atmosphere. If you walked instead, you would use about 180 calories. You’d need about 100g of beef to replace those calories, resulting in 3.6kg of emissions, or four times as much as driving.

That’s just brilliant! Ofcourse the sensible thing for us would be to eat less meat, a sentiment shared by Ryanair’s boss, who when faced with accusations of being responsible for huge amounts of pollution said “Shoot cows instead of blaming aviation”

Organic milk is worse for the climate. Huh?! Organic dairy cows produce less milk than their relatives jacked up on hormones, but their flatulence is the same. Thus their methane emissions per liter of milk are higher. OK, but what about the fact that organic cows eat mostly grass instead of processed feeds that surely have a carbon footprint all of their own?

1000hp engines are not so bad after all: Huh?! One of the racers at a recent Powerboat event in the Oslofjord was asked if he was concerned about the environmental footprint of his 600 liter/hour guzzler. He responded with a straight face that in reality all those people who came to see the race probably used lot more gas to get there, and if we wanted to seriously clean up the sport that would be the place to start. Conclusion: let’s just watch it on tv.

Home composting is bad for you-know-what: Huh?! Swedish scientists conclude most garden compost heaps contribute to global warming by releasing huge amounts of harmful methane gas. Recycling organic waste right at home should be a good thing: reducing the need for trash pickup, landfill space, and artificial fertilizer production. But it has to be done correctly with equal amounts of mixing and turning or the heap will quickly fart more than a herd of holsteins.

Photo for illustrative purposes only

I spent some time on a sailboat last night and was reminded how much fun it is to sit at a 45 degree angle waiting for the whole thing to tip over. You probably think I am kidding but it is fun in a rollercoaster kind-of way. Besides it would take a lot to tip over a 13 ton sailboat, right?

Think your brew tastes bad? How about some coffee made from weasel poop?

Can’t believe these guys didn’t win…

Video clip