Sabine’s Blog

Another partially sleepless night. I woke up at 3.20 and went to the bathroom. Then back to bed and twist and turn and turn. I did not get back to sleep. So I try not to think about it. But after a while I check the clock: it’s after four. I get up, in the kitchen, I have a piece of bread and some apple juice. The cat is around waiting for a dose of tuna. Staring at the fridge. I prepare the sofa in case I have to come up here after another hour. I shiver. Our radiators are on 17 at night. I check the temperature outside. It is 0. I go back to the bathroom and start to do my nails. After a while I go back to bed and try to sleep under my pillow. It must have been close to 5. It works since I wake up again a little later to realize that I have just been dreaming and thus sleeping.
I experience such nights often these days. Then the next day I am tired and depressed and find it hard to work and concentrate.
When I am awake, I think about my life, my age and my unfinished dissertation. I think what helps me the most is probably to work on the diss and feel as if I have accomplished something.